How often do you change your sheets?
That's a shock question, isn't it? Probably not as often as you think you do. I should say we're very regular - better than we used to be certainly. I think I was jolted into reality when a friend told me he didn't change his sheets at university for two years. And he was entertaining more often than not. I felt bilious and went home and did a lot of laundry. I've carried on doing that ever since.
Of course having a cleaner who does your ironing helps. I know it's horribly middle class but we don't want to do it so we're happy to pay someone else to. She didn't start off ironing but she offered. She likes it. The nutjob. But she's good at it and she does sheets, and as we all know there's nothing quite so comforting as slipping into freshly ironed clean sheets.
We've never been good at cleaning or ironing. Mrs F-C has ironed perhaps twice in 19 years. Thank God for today's low temperatures. It's pure laziness. I'm sure my parents balk at coming to see us because they think our house is a tip. When I told my mum we had moths some years back she immediately said 'it's dust'. Translation: you don't clean enough.
Don't get me wrong; we don't live in squalor as those who have been to F-C Mansions will testify. But of course there's the odd forgotten corner that never sees a broom and probably never will. I hoovered under our bed the other day. Apart from finding six pairs of slippers, numerous cat toys and a bolero cardigan with leg-o-mutton sleeves, a Starsky collar and Punch & Judy appliques on it, there was enough dust to open a dust shop under there. Note to self: do that more often. In fact, no. Note to cleaner: do that more often.
I don't think it would cross her mind actually. She's a terrible corner cutter, but we mustn't grumble. Rather her than me. It's a dirty job, etc., etc.
