Natasha Kaplinsky's moving to five. And we should care about this? I couldn't give a toss where that manicured gargoyle ends up, to be honest, as long as she's got nothing to do with current affairs. I want the news to be read by a newsperson, not a mannequin.
Also getting the F-C goat at the moment:
1. The writers' strike. Please come to an agreement soon. Don't care about the Oscars, but want more Lost, etc.
2. The Archbishop of Canterbury. 'Look at me! I'm over here!'. Saying silly things won't give you the sort of attention you crave. And trim those brows. It doesn't make you look endearingly eccentric, just a bit grubby.
3. Those trailers for Mad Men every five minutes on BBC4. Yes, I'm sure it's marvellous and I will be watching, but enough already.
4. Warm winter days. Not right, not right at all. I want overcast, slate-grey skies, rain, snow and cosiness. We shouldn't say 'it isn't it a lovely day', as it just means the ice caps are melting faster. You can't have it both ways. Pray for an ice storm and we can all get back to normal.
5. That trailer for the deaf on Channel 4, where a woman is in a room with a suitcase of money. Once more, and my foot goes through the screen.
6. Smithsmania.
7. Ricky Gervais on the cover of the Radio Times. That ego needs no encouragement.
8. Corrie's rubbish. Axe half the cast and it may become halfway decent.
9. The McCartney divorce. You were warned. And you look more like Angela Lansbury than ever. Ditch the big scarves.
10. Jonathan Ross, especially at the BAFTAs. Get over yourself.
