Okay, back now and I'm sure I have lots of catching up to do. So in the meantime, without you even asking, let me bore you with a few high and lowlights from my trip to Las Vegas.
1. Mandals. Regular readers may know that I eschew this type of footwear. So I'm loathe to tell you that I had little choice but to join the flip-flip brigade. With temperatures at 96 on arrival and pushing 112 when I left, they were the only option. I didn't have any of course, so Mrs F-C frogmarched me to the Forum shops at Caeser's Palace where I bought a pair, knowing full well I'd never wear them. But dear reader, once I put them on there was no going back. I've never felt so free. As they say, however, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and they won't be leaving the shoe cupboard anytime soon.
2. American men. The most unimaginative dressers in the world. Baggy shorts, baseball caps on backwards, dull as ditchwater golf polos on men of all ages from kids to pensioners. With so many great shops offering a lot of menswear choices, why not try something different? Seems it cannot be done. I may be just this side of mutton dressed as lamb, but I'm glad about it.
3. The Beatles "Love". I'm not one for performance art or musical shows. But I really wanted to see this Cirque Du Soleil show as I'd heard so many good things about it. Last time went to a CduS show we walked out. I have no time for fat clowns making over-exaggerated faces or people on rollerskates, but this show was something else. It helps of course that you know the songs - is there another band in the world whose album tracks are as well-known as their singles? - and some over-enthusiastic stiltwalkers aside, it really was spectacular. A great use of the music, and some brilliant special effects, amazing acrobatics and the fittest (as in healthy) cast I've ever seen made this one not to miss. The seats had speakers in them, and to hear songs like A Day In The Life and Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds all remixed and used imaginatively was a real thrill. Not quite sure what teh story was meant to be as it made no sense whatsoever, but the staging was brilliant and I thoroughly recommend it.
4. Don't mock the slots. We won $1000 dollars.
5. Always keep your original stake in your top pocket. Then whatever you win or lose matters not. We got quite good at Blackjack. It's just so much fun. You'll be throwing your money away on craps though.
6. Food. The food in Vegas is truly fantastic. When I first went I only remember Dennys, McDonalds and the inevitable Subway. But now all the (nice) hotels have great restaurants. I do find the whole "Kabuki by Issay Takayashi" or "Le Soir Du Nord by Guy Jarondine" (all made up by the way) style of presentation a bit pretentious, but don't be put off. These giant-sized eateries are really, really good. I've had some of the best food I've ever eaten.
7. It's worth paying more for your hotel room. Our bath overlooked the strip. One button opened or closed the curtains. I wish my house was like this. The rates changed every day and it can end up being far, far less than you'd think.
8. Seen one casino, seen them all.
9. French Canada - is it for real? My connection the way back was via Montreal. I had about 10 minutes to change planes and every person I asked in my panic to find my gate spoke French, even if I spoke English back. I didn't have time to speak French. And it's a funny accent. I think it's an affectation. I very nearly missed the plane, though as it turned out we sat on the tarmac for 90 minutes while they fiddled with an engine part, which was tedious in the extreme. Still, I managed to watch most of A Prophet before the plane had even taken off.
10. Theme hotels go off really quickly. All those pyramids and New Yorks and fairy castles now look really shabby and are really low rent. Talk about redneck city. Paris and Venice are okay, but you can see they're on the turn. They never did do that London one. If I was to open one, I'd base it on the glamour of the Vegas of the Fifties and Sixties. Groovy cocktail bars, Engelburt Humperdinck on every night in the Lave Lounge...You can see it, can't you?
Anyway, Mrs F-C is there for another week. She's worried about bankruptcy, and with good reason.
So what have I missed?
