I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of waking up to more news about recessions, gloomy economic forecasts and dead children. The second the TV clicks on I want to kill myself.
It's my own fault. Once I was a radio man, but when Chris Moyles came along that was time for me to jump ship from Radio 1. Plus, I was about 36, so really it was way overdue. After that I toyed with Planet Rock, but when we got rid of cable through the TV in the bedroom, that went too.
So then I started a job where my boss insisted I watch GMTV of a morning. And you know my feelings about that. I soon woke up and smelt the morning coffee and wondered why on earth I was carrying out her orders. She was completely mad. So BBC Breakfast was next, but frankly, I find that Sian woman rather grating now, and it's also incredibly repetitive. There is no news except some new survey or credit crunch stuff.
We always turn over to Everybody Loves Raymond at 7.30 while drinking our tea, but we've sat through the series once and only certain episodes are funny second time around.
So what to do? Don't suggest Radio 4, it's depressing. Terry Wogan makes me feel old before my time, and we always had him on when I was growing up in the 70s, so it makes me feel like I've not moved on. I don't like 6 Music. Heart, Capital, Magic and Smooth make me feel like I run a salon in Norbiton and live only for Mariah Carey, the DVD of Titanic and Friday night pizzas.
Don't suggest the ipod. I like to feel connected to the outside world at that hour.
Actually, ignore me. Who gives a fuck what my morning routine is? Who do I think I am, Goodbye To All Fat? We've only got an hour to kill, I'm sure we can think of something to do.
