This story made me laugh. What they need to do is make PE teachers a little nicer, a bit more understanding, not total cunts who enjoy ruining your life.
I loathed PE at school. I wasn't a fat kid - quite the opposite actually, but I was no good at it, therefore the PE teachers were foul to me. These bully boys in their red and pale blue Adidas tracksuits scarred me for life, and definitely put me off competitive sports or doing any kind of sport in public. I'm looking at you, Mr Jones and Mr Bagley.
Yes, they picked the boy on crutches before they picked me for their team. As the crowd dwindled to me and the other weeds the humiliation was piled on so high I may as well have been naked, it couldn't have been any more embarrassing. (This team picking thing is surely one of life's most hateful rituals. Even when they pick their helpers on The Restaurant I'm cringing).
The thing is, though I was useless at football and rugby, and not co-ordinated enough for tennis or hockey, I quite enjoyed basketball. I remember one occasion scoring loads of baskets(if that's the proper name), really getting into it and finally wondering if at last I'd chanced upon a sport I not only liked, but was also quite good at. But it wasn't to be. Mr Jones was busy ogling his favourites, and when he did bother to look in my direction I got the usual scowl. So that was it for me really. I did try, I enjoyed it, but my reputation went before me. So I hated PE. What was the point?
I even got a letter home once for not trying. My parents, knowing sport was not my bag just laughed.
Today, I can look back and laugh, but it's one of those childhood horrors that never really leaves you. So thanks Mr Jones and Mr Bagley, for putting me off sport for life. I can't take it seriously.
