While I was waiting for Red Riding to come on - and frankly, it was so slow and boring after last week that I really shouldn't have bothered - I caught about 20 minutes of Jade's wedding.
It's the very definition of car crash TV. That poor girl. I'm not sure whether it's all her idea or all Max Clifford's idea, but talk about milking it. She looked beautiful, it must be said, being the belle-laide type normally, but the whole thing was a ghastly circus, as if the pages of OK! magazine had suddenly burst into life.
There was Max, Jade's mother, the odd journo I recognised sitting in the congregation (and quite far forward too), the odd famous face (if you can call singing coach Kevin Whatisname from Fame Academy famous), all looking on as the frankly rather odd celebrant - not sure if he actually was a vicar - took charge of proceedings. This sweaty, bizarre man said some really quite strange things about heaven and death then suddenly burst into a reedy, tuneless song. Jade and Jack didn't know where to put themselves. But of course the overriding graveness of the whole situation put paid to any laughter. That came later.
Jack and Jade had to say their vows and repeat otherworldly sentiments at each other, and both cracked up laughing. But for all this, while Jade cut a tragic, hairless figure who was clearly finding the whole thing really difficult to deal with, both mentally and physically, what with her being just weeks away from death, Jack looked as if he was there under sufferance. It may be harsh but I don't believe his heart is in it at all. He's a smirking, bad to the bone no mark. Rumour has it he's already tried to get his money back on his wedding suit, and in this he seemed far happier than any man who's about to lose the woman of his dreams has a right to be. His speech was literally 15 seconds long and mostly about his best man. Don't get too excited Jack, none of that cash is coming YOUR way. It's the kids I feel sorry for.
At this point, I switched over. I think this whole thing is the worst kind of exploitation, and as I've said previously, people are like the women who knitted at the foot of the guillotine, waiting to witness a death. Truly, I'm really uncomfortable with the way this is playing out.
When Jade dies, will this type of celebrity will die with her? I do hope so.
