I was shocked Yasmina won The Apprentice, but by the end Kate was coming across as rather smug so the right person won in the end. Not keen on any of those chocolates though. Anyone for a CocoElectric? I bet they were mainly praslines.
Anyhoo, while we're all reeling from the news the Margaret Moutford, the woman who can fell a forest by raising just one eyebrow, is leaving the show and won't appear in the next series because she wants to concentrate her energies on reading ancient manuscripts (what's wrong with knitting or keep fit?), let's talk about some things currently annoying me on TV.
1. People clapping themselves
This never used to happen. People knew when to show modesty on games shows. But now, everyone blindly claps themselves like brain-damaged baby seals. You see it everywhere. Perhaps they hear clapping and thing they have to join in - especially on TV shows where they make you clap until you're palms bleed. But I don't think think it's a conditioning thing. People are quite keen to celebrate themselves, and have no compunction about showing how marvelous they think they are in public. I never clap. Ever.
2. Newsreaders introducing the sportscaster or weatherman by their first name only
Like we know who these people are. 'Here's Liam with the weather', says Huw Edwards, like we're old friends with 'Liam'. Or perhaps, 'Here's Olly with the sport'. 'Olly who?', I'm asking, almost hysterical. This has annoyed me as far back as when John Craven used to say: 'Here's Lucy with a report', way back when. But I suppose for children it's okay and less forbidding to refer to someone this way. But we're adults, and I don't know Olly or Liam. They are not my friends or family. This must stop.
3. TV shows presented by the 'whatever' generation
We've already covered this a few posts back.
4. Adrian Chiles
Who told this bag of semolina in a Pat Codd wig he was a good TV presenter? His understated Brumminess drags me down. He dulls down every show he touches. What that co-presenter (beat me on the bottom with a) Christine Bleakley ever saw in him is anybody's guess. He belongs on the radio.
5. Celebrity travelogues
I know this annoys a lot of people, but it annoys me most. Are we not likely to tune in to a programme about travel unless Eddie Waring's showing us 'his' Poland, or June Brown pilots an airship over the Gobi Desert? It's absurd. Stephen Tompkinson was ballooning over Africa last night. Anyone could have done that. Why do we need him to do it? Why do we have to have Paul Merton in Indian, Griff Rhys Jones in New York or Amanda bloody Holden in South Korea? Enough already. We coped when John Carter went to Singapore on Holiday 72, and we can cope again.
I'm glad I'm going on holiday on Thursday.
