So I'm off to the land of vodka tomorrow, and fully intend to indulge. It's the only spirit I can stomach really. I'm not keen on the flavoured ones (blackcurrant, pepper, lemon - excuse me, where's your lavatory?), but ordinary vodka is fine. We had some lovely ones in Russia, ice cold and neat, just chucked back in one go. (Not keen on the silly ads for it you always get here and which have been surreally non-sensical for years. Who are they aiming at, I wonder? It's hardly a luxury item though it's always portrayed that way).
So anyway, as far as other spirits are concerned though, you can keep them. Gin - is this fashionable again? Are party girls asking for gin & it or gin & French these days? It's got a very evocative smell. It's Boxing Day at Auntie Kathleen's, in the kitchen where Uncle Tony's mixing drink after drink, and Uncle Frank is knocking back the g&ts like they're going out of fashion, while Auntie Joy cuts a rug to Tie A Yellow Ribbon with her fancy piece next door. It's a smell of blazers and fag smoke and lemons and middle aged people. It's gin poured into coke cans before the sixth form Christmas party and then thrown up behind the sports hall. It's having to be put to bed. It's waking up dead. The thought of it makes me want to heave.
Same goes for tequila. I can't even smell it. I once threw up a perfect spaghetti bolognese after a stag day spent drinking tequila at a cricket match. I don't like cricket and now I don't like tequila.
Rum is too difficult, whisky is okay if you're full of a cold and don't let it linger at the back of the throat. I think I prefer whiskey. Bacardi is just ghastly. Malibu I've not had since I was sick after one too many Eighties blue cocktails outside Cinderella Rockafella's (IIRC) in Guildford. Any of those Beziques, Medoris, anything from the entire De Kuyper range and advocaat is the devil's work. As a student my girlfriend worked in a pub at the time they launched Taboo and Mirage (1985). She had to push it on the customers, which included me. Never again.
I've been sick a lot. I have a pathological fear of it too, and I now know my limits. I've not been sick from alcohol since downing banana vodkas at the Channel Five fifth birthday party. All I remember is taking off my shoes once at home and waking up in my pants at 4am. I was sick at work later that day. See! Flavoured vodkas are evil.
So it's nice, plain, unfussy vodka for me. But I'll take it easy.
Chin-chin!
