I was on the Tube last night when an announcement came over the tannoy, reminding us sweltering travellers that in times of great heat, we should carry bottles of water with us, just in case, and wear loose clothing.
For pity's sake.
You'd think we'd never experienced hot weather before. What the hell do we do when we go abroad? Tsk. Talk about nanny state. It's no hotter than we've had in other years, stretching back centuries. And I should know, having been a weatherman in 1789. Anyhoo, isn't all this heatwave advice utterly ludicrous? Common sense tells what we should do. We don't need the absurd Dr Hilary Jones telling us to look out for our neighbours or sprinkle water on our bedsheets - his favourite piece of hot weather advice, incidentally. Have you ever sprinkled water on your bedsheets? On purpose? Of course you haven't. And you wouldn't. Who wants to lie in a damp bed.
So the heatwave is over tomorrow, thank God, and we can all go back to whingeing about how summer's now over.
