'How fascinating F-C,' I hear you trill. 'Do tell us more.'
Well not that interesting in itself, naturally, but it was one of those times when you think, what if i hadn't gone to get the cat a new basket? If I hadn't trekked miles to the Pets At Home superstore just so I could look at the bunny rabbits then I wouldn't have trodden in the most almighty dog shit that a nervous Staffy had just produced in the small animals aisle.
And I wouldn't have had to wait ages for a lackadaisical assistant to appear with some paper towels and Cif, while nearly gagging over the foul smell and trying not to look at said shit which had peculiar red bits in it.
The owner, clearly embarrassed, wasn't warning anyone so into it I stepped. I can still feel it now. Thank God I wasn't wearing shoes with treads. 'It's good luck' she offered, weakly. I smiled thinly.
I should have gone straight to Westfield instead.
