If, like me, you're a fan of The X Factor, then you'll know what I'm talking about. Those stock phrases wheeled out by contestant after contestant, not to mention the ones overused by the judges.
So here goes. Your prize? The Christmas number one, then the pale ale circuit until you die.
110%
'I'm doing it for my mum'
Cover version of 15-year-old Mariah Carey number
'I want to give my kids a better life'
'You nailed it!'
'I want to be the next Robbie Williams'
Mixed race boyband doing all the hand gestures to ancient Boyz To Men song
Someone who's just too young but has an amazing voice
'Why do you want to do this?'
Judges 'giving up' due to paucity of talent
Hard-faced mare does dance routine and Kylie number - badly - then won't let it go
Angry parent storming in to give the judges a piece of their mind
'Who that's around today do you think you could outsell?'
Eccentric old person gets put through to the next round by Dannii/Cheryl
'Please Louis! It's my dream! It means the world to me'
Simon Cowell saying, 'This competition' at least 8 times per show
'Journey'
Over-excited extended family with ears pressed against the door of the audition room, whose world falls apart when sprog is inevitably rejected
Fat girl who's doing it to show the bullies what for
Deluded duo who think they're great and are the only ones who can see they're not
Simon Cowell saying far too early on 'You could win this competition'
Dannii and Cheryl's eventual falling out played up with that Omen music
