It's the work Christmas party tonight.
Hooray.
It's the one where the whole company gets together and can't actually speak because the pumping music is way too loud so it divides into three groups: smokers (outside), die-hard shouters and Sister Sledge enthusiasts who won't be leaving the dancefloor. (I'm expecting Crazy In Love to kick things off. Just see if it doesn't. That song now belongs in the seriously overplayed category).
I wouldn't really mind if there was a quieter area where you could talk but there never is and it's got to be one of the most unexciting days of the year. Of course, for some people in the building it's the highlight. They really go to town on their costumes. One year a girl came as box of popcorn. It was a sight to see. Oh, did I mention it's fancy dress?
This years theme, imaginatively, is Christmas. I'm just popping on a festive jumper and passing myself off as a Val Doonican Christmas special, should anyone ask. I loathe fancy dress if not everyone participates. You don't want to be the only one turning up as the Green Lantern, after all. If everyone joins in it's okay, but I never have time to think about it properly so make little effort. Bad I know. I should be setting an example. Not that anyone could care less.
There's always a lot of resistance to this do here for some reason. Where I've worked previously people wouldn't dream of missing the Christmas bash - free food and drink - and for that it was quite a lot of fun. I was younger then of course, and hitting the dancefloor didn't carry the same amount of shame as it does when you're 44 and look like Anton Rogers after too many snowballs, shirt unbuttoned to the naval leading everyone in the Macarena. But at least it was a top night out. And there were prizes.
Here though it's almost a badge of of shame if you do go, and you're, like, sticking it to the man if you don't go. Not that anyone notices.
On a related note, does anyone have a party actually in an office anymore? They're mythical now, really. People snogging behind filing cabinets, paper hats skew-wiff, streamers round Doreen from accounts who's pinching the post room boy's arse, drunks dancing to Merry Xmas Everyone, old sick in the cheese plant. Actually that sounds quite jolly.
Anyway, let's get this party started.
