We all know society's gone to the dogs, but apart from 'mate' or 'love', people don't really call each other anything in lieu of a name very much anymore do they, and a lot of people object to event that.
Not me. I want more of it. But I want to revive the things I heard in my childhood. I mean, when was the last time you heard a station porter call a sixtysomething woman 'duchess'? Or hear someone who didn't know how to act around a black bus driver call him 'captain'? I could be wrong, but it seems to be a practice that's dying out.
Can you imagine calling your any of your friends 'squire'? It makes you sound like you own a Romford timber yard. It's ludicrous to even think it. But it's a shame, as things like that always make me chuckle. I'd be thrilled if the man in the garage called me that.
Let's start a revival. I want shop assistants in their twenties to call me 'flower'. I want to hear barmaids calling customers 'duckie'. I want dads to call their daughters 'princess' and husbands to call their wives 'queen'. I want more 'hens', more 'pets'.
It's gentle, it's friendly, it's affectionate.
Any more I've missed out?
