I love you hate you love you, etc.

I had a very long and convoluted journey to work this morning, which involved all manner of tubes and buses.

It didn't start well on the first bus. A very tall and irritating couple snogged all the way to Victoria Station literally millimetres from my face.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for passion and first flush of love, etc., but they were about 45, she had a moustache and he was really very funny-looking. Between kisses they whispered 'I love you' in each other's ear, and greeted said epithet with the sickliest grins this side of the Hallmark Channel. So close was I, it was literally a menage a trois. I was tempted to ruin the mood and whisper 'I hate you', in each of their ears, but thought better of it.

Really, there is a time and a place.