Friday, October 05, 2007

They're celebrities... get them out of here!

I saw Noel Gallagher yesterday, which is only noteworthy because last week I saw Liam Gallagher, and I saw them both in the same place too. One inside Selfridges, one outside. I've seen Liam a few times before, but I've never seen Noel. He's definitely the smilier one of the two, though I doubt you need me to tell you that.

On this occasion he was wearing a flak jacket and an outsize peaked cap, like or doorman or a parkie would wear. Actually it could have been a Russian general's cap from WWII. He had really long hair and was weaving from side to side in an overly simian fashion. He wasn't smiling, but he did reach in front of me to look at some white shoes (which I wasn't considering for myself), without so much as by your leave.

Noel on the other hand was dressed in a leather jacket, skinny jeans and trainers. He's got the most ridiculous barnet, and it does nothing for his double chin He smiled as he stepped into his chauffer-driven Audi with blacked out windows, which slipped past my car and drove off in the direction of the west. How nice, thought I, having my ears assaulted by Chris Evans on Radio 2 (actually he's alright now) and just missing the lights.

I'd love to chauffer driven, as long as I didn't have to chat to the chauffer. I don't talk to taxi drivers, and thankfully they don't talk to me. There must be something about my face which says don't bore me with your racist talk/your previous brilliant career/your take on TV today/cyclists/how much money you make/how you've fallen for this woman but someone popped an anonymous note through your door telling you she's actually a prostitute and now you're in a quandary, etc.

Anyway, I also saw Natalie Cassidy (that's Sonia formerly of EastEnders before you say: 'of course, we never watch television so I have no idea who that is') right outside this very building. The construction workers opposite made her stop for a photo. As she was walking away, another worker shouted down from the building:

"Who was that?'

"Sonia Jackson from EastEnders. She's lost a ton!"

Back marched Natalie Cassidy who was not best pleased that he'd made this weight reference. I finished my fag and darted back inside.

1 comment:

Clair said...

I fancy that Noel Gallagher. Terribly funny on Russell Brand, and much more appealling now he's had his teeth done. I also don't mind taxi drivers by and large. It gives me a chance to have a rant myself, and I also quite like them because one gave me a free ride when I was on my way home as my dad was dying. And they often chat me up. One has to get what one can at my age.

Oh, and Jonathan Ross followed me home on Friday. Well, a bit of the way home. In a car. Oh alright, his car was behind mine for a bit through Highgate.