Monday, May 12, 2008

He wears short shorts (and he really shouldn't)


I'm not good in hot weather. I'm not a shorts person. I tend to keep my legs covered up at all times. I might wear then on holiday to go to the pool in, but I would never walk down the street in them. I don't have the legs for it, and neither do about 98% of the rest of male population.

Some people are into their shorts as soon as the sun shows it face at whatever time of year. Perhaps it's those people who wear suits all week can't wait to get into something more casual. But sometimes it's not warm enough for shorts, but the sun's out so better put them on! I find it annoying. Much like I find the t-shirt and woolley hat combo both annoying and bewildering.

Nothing though, is more annoying than those silly three-quarter length trousers. I'm sorry if you own some and I'm offending you, but they make people's legs look really short and stumpy. They're really not a good look. Some fashion kingpins somewhere are giggling behind their fans at how they've managed to pull off this joke on gullible men.

Thing is, I hate sunbathing. I always burn, unless i"m really, really careful. In Thailand about 20 years ago I burnt so badly I blistered all over. It was very nearly a hospital job. I never want to do that again. Consequently, I'm not the most tanned person you'll ever meet. My legs certainly won't be, anyway.


For once, though, it's nice to have the sun out. As long it's not too hot, I can cope. But today I hear that rain is around the corner, and that's much more me.

I'm not a vest person either.

16 comments:

Clair said...

It was all good-looking blokes in shorts at mine yesterday; it was good. But I know what you mean, I too am loathe to reveal too much, and I only do it for medical purposes on holiday. Shorts ought to be banned from offices.

A Kitten in a Brandy Glass said...

Blokes who wander around central London with their shirts off, that's what narks me. Not only are men whose naked torsos look good in even shorter supply than men who look okay in shorts, but they are much too undressed for their surroundings. I always think "Put some clothes on, man, you're in civilized society now!"

Meanwhile in Walthamstow, I noticed many local housewives having their annual bash at evening up the score in the unbecoming-displays-of-flesh stakes. Incompetent tattoos and cheap Lycra boob tubes stretched far too thinly across wobbly sunburned rolls of fat, it's a look that never goes out of style... unfortunately.

Bright Ambassador said...

I don't wear shorts either, and have to confess that I do own a couple of pairs of 3/4 length combats, but they were bought in a moment of weakness during the heatwave of 2006 when even I was forced to find an alternative to jeans.
That was until I discovered the joys of linen jeans. I've had them and - and this is a biggy for me - no socks on all weekend! Hurrah!

Clair said...

Yes Kitten, and I bet these women think they look hot, because they're wearing a too-tight T-shirt that says they are.

Andrew Collins said...

I feel quite defensive now. I wear shorts, including the three-quarter-length type, at the soonest possible opportunity. I think the "long short" is one of the better fashion developments for men in the last decade. I hate long trousers and only wear them for half of the year through meteorological necessity. That said, I would never bare my top in a built-up area.

Roman Empress said...

I'm with Andrew on this one. You all need to lighten up and flash those pins. You only live once. I loved it that everyone wore shorts in my office in Sydney too.

Planet Mondo said...

I didn't wear shorts for about five years during the eighties.

But have no problem with them now, combat style at the mo' ( worn with black Fred Perrys, ringer t shirts like this and and these for footwear) I'll wear them to the beach/nipping round the corner - but wouldn't do a shopping trip in them.

I think worse than the 3/4 troos for blokes are those knee length office trouser/shorts for girls that seemed to be everywhere last year - awful. I just don't get those at all

Five-Centres said...

I can't bring myself to do it. Perhaps if I lived in a place where it was sunny all the time, I might get used to it. But for now, it's long trousers for the rest of my life.

Five-Centres said...

You know what, PM, i had no idea you could buy shoes on Amazon. Shoe shopping is an absolute pet hate of mine - I can never find anything I like and I get nervous and flustered (I'm not a flipflops or mandals guy either, BTW), so this has come as a revelation to me.

From now on, I'm doing all my shoe shopping online.

Clair said...

I have just spotted F-C - today he's sporting a lovely white linen shirt and perfect dark denims. It's full marks in the fashion department from the Woo.

Planet Mondo said...

FC - Almost all my casual clobber shopping is done online.

Ebay is the best for Fred Perrys(fakes - but, so good you'd never know) T shirts and Converse if you wear them. High Street wise I'm a TX Maxxer, It's like boot sale and jumble sale in one crazy bundle, but there are mad bargains to had.

Five-Centres said...

Why thank you, Woo. I hope I do you proud later in the pub quiz.

The only trouble with clothes shopping on line is things often look different to how they appear, and the sizes are all wrong.

Other than that, I'm all for it.

Matthew Rudd said...

Heh. Those issues you have with online clothes shopping are quite crucial though... doesn't look right, doesn't fit. Other than that... perfect!

Andrew Collins said...

Hey, I mentioned your shorts discussion in our podcast today, F-C. Apologies, though, as in my two-sips-of-coffee-addled state I initially mis-credited it to Clair. Then it came back to me where the debate had taken place.

Five-Centres said...
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Five-Centres said...

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