Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Rip it up and start again


With the sad passing of Bill Cotton, it's become even more apparent to me, that TV as we knew it - and by that I mean those of us over 30 - no longer exists.

Do you think it's too late to start again?

First, let's bin off all the waste of time digital channels that no one watches. That should clear about 200 channels and give us some room to breathe. Then, let's limit the digital market to no more than 20 channels, each one being specific genres and niches - and that doesn't mean wedding channels, Audi channels, etc. It means a proper gold channel or two, sport for those who care, films, 'women's programming', kids, teens, documentaries, history, wildlife, demolition, Sixties London scenes, flowers blooming really fast, etc. So much easier to choose, and who knows, there might be something good on.

And as far as terrestrial goes, let's just have four main channels, only two of which broadcast in the daytime. That way, we're clear of hundreds of hours of shite and money can be spent better on the quality programming that we might actually want to watch.

But it is too late, isn't it.

16 comments:

Clair said...

Does anyone actually watch things like Nuts TV , The Wedding Chanel or ITV4 (OK, I did catch some cage-fighting once, but that was purely for research purposes)? How can they make money? And why does so much digital stuff have to be aimed at the 18-23 demographic, who have no money, and are out having a nice time, and not sat on the sofa watching telly?

If it wasn't for Dog Borstal and Gok Wan, I'd throw the telly in the bin, frankly. And that shows how bad things have got.

Five-Centres said...

New Tricks is the only thing worth watching, and the fact that it's the number one TV (beating the soaps), speaks volumes.

Forget the teens, go for the older audience.

Cluracan said...

Actually, out of sheer desperation at failing to find anything else remotely interesting on TV last night, I found myself watching New Tricks...To my surprise, I really enjoyed it!

I heartily agree with your view on the terrestrial channels...Bring back the test card.

Five-Centres said...

It is great. The chemistry between the leads is second to none. It's one of my favourite shows of all time.

TimT said...

Monday night at 9pm is actually becoming a key watching time in the week, oddly enough. In competition with New Tricks (which I like, though I'm getting a bit tired of the way they whip through complex plots and hope no one notices any convenient holes), there's Dragons' Den on BBC2 and now Kevin McCloud's new 'Grand Designs goes to Castleford' show, which I really enjoyed last night. It got me caring about the fate of a dump in Yorkshire, and its residents, which is no mean feat.

Luckily, you can always rely on ITV1 to put some sh*te documentary on a Monday night, but there are still major viewing choices to be made.

LF Barfe said...

New Tricks is fab - I've never seen Alun Armstrong in anything I didn't like. I'm a latecomer, though. Have they started ramping up joke references to Dennis Waterman's tendency to sing at the drop of a hat, or have they always been there?

Bright Ambassador said...

I watch ITV4. I need Minder and The Professionals repeats, because I'm mardy.

I could live with just More4 though, I love lazy Sunday afternoons gorging on marathon Coach Trip and Come Dine With Me sessions.

Five-Centres said...

There's nothing like Come Dine With Me on Sunday afternoons. It's mine and Mrs F-C's favourite. And it gets us in the mood - for food.

LF Barfe said...

Come Dine With Me is quite good, but wasn't More4 meant to be C4's BBC4 (Too many 4s - Ed)? Fewer channels, definitely. In fact I still subscribe to Danny Baker's view that TV was better when it went off for a couple of hours every afternoon. Fewer, better programmes. I think I could live very comfortably with BBC1, BBC2, BBC4 and, er, that's it.

LF Barfe said...

Maybe ITV3 as well, but only if they made it more like Granada Plus used to be, with lots of Sez Les.

Clair said...

Oh, a Les Dawson only channel. Now you're pushing my buttons (on a wooden veneered TV set)!

LF Barfe said...

One of them marked ITA2?

rockmother said...

I have always wondered if anyone ever watches The Hallmark Channel - it should just be called Tripe TV. I agree with Bright Ambassador - I can't live without re-runs of The Professionals, Minder or The Sweeney despite the fact I know most of them off by heart. I saw the most SHIT programme ever the other day - I think it was on BBC2 - it was the most poor and badly executed and suicidally BORING re-hash of Call My Bluff. It was so bad I had to turn it over and watch Kizzy - Mother at 14 - actually quite an uplifting documentary despite the potentially depressing subject matter.

Five-Centres said...

That's what I'm saying RM, a proper Gold channel showing all our favourites. Not endless repeats of The Vicar Of Dibley and Only Fools and Horses...

Ishouldbeworking said...

I've seen that re-hash of Call My Bluff. Everyone on it looks profoundly ashamed of having been reduced to appearing on it. Lends a weirdly pre-apocalyptic atmosphere to the proceedings, as though it's just a matter of time before one of the panel goes berserk with an axe, screaming "BLAME MY FUCKING AGENT".

Until that happens, though, I too will stick to Dog Borstal and box sets. TV as we knew it is over.

rockmother said...

I wish they would bring back Celebrity Squares but hosted by Charlie Chuck - now that would be good telly!

Labels