What happens in Vegas...

It's goodbye from me for a week a bit, as I'm off to go-go dance by the pool in sunny Las Vegas.

Have you been? Then you know you must embrace the trashiness of it and just enjoy. I went 12 years ago for my brother's wedding and we had a fantastic time. Gambling at Treasure Island til dawn, all those free drinks, cabanas at the Luxor, meatballs of confusion at the Motown Cafe, near heart-attacks after mile-long breakfast buffets and throwing money up in the air back at our hotel room.

Of course, the marriage swiftly ended in disaster when she left him for a woman less than 18 months later, but that's by the by-pass. My memories purely consist of fun.

So I'm excited to go back and see how much it's changed. Money is less of a problem now than it was back then, but I'm still limiting myself. We did well on the blackjack tables last time, but it may have been pure luck. Mrs F-C was like Linda Fiorentino. I felt like Nicolas Cage, but that's Vegas for you.

Now, I think I'm going to suggest to Steve Wynn that instead of all this Paris and Venice nonsense, what we really want is a hotel in the style of the hotels that existed in the 1950s or 1960s. That's a theme.

Wish me cash luck.