Sofa, so bad

Rumour has it there's a sale on at DFS. Better hurry - these things don't last forever.

Now, I don't want to come across as a terrible snob, and it is all a question of taste, but have yhou ever seen a sofa in a DFS advert that you'd actually give house room to?

They come in all shapes and sizes, and I'm sure they're supremely comfortable, but come on - orange leather? Even Suzi Quatro would balk. It's like the Crossroads Motel lobby and bar area. Or Howards' Way.

You can take your pick from highly patterned bright red and pink creations, monochrome drabness, plop brown with turquoise piping and endless leatherette, velveteen or suedette monstrosities in mauve, Jimmy The Hoover orange, Biarritz, pistachio, Post-it or buttercream. All ghastly, all puffed up with those footrests that pop out if you make one false move, meaning you spill your Cinzano Bianco all over you, Joan Collins style. And they're still quite expensive for what they are.

But they must shift loads. I don't know anyone who's got one though. If you have a leather sofa, it's got to be dark brown or black. Never fuschia or lime. You'd go off it in a moment, surely? Any statement piece of furniture like that soon loses its appeal, unless it totally tasteful of course.

If you own one, then I don't mean to cause offence, but let's hope if you did it's sensible, practical and most importantly comfortable, and not an impulse buy you've grown to loathe because at the time you thought a faux leather banquette in Parma ham was just what would get you noticed.