Thursday, May 13, 2010

It's my least favourite kind of weather

Never be the first one on a TV show to be shown saying 'I will win this competition because I am better than all the rest', because it's highly likely you'll be off the show by the end of episode one.

So when a petulant, pouting, spotty precocious Northern Irish show-off aged about 11 was seen saying just that at the beginning of last night's Junior Apprentice, we knew he was off that day. But while he was there he proved to be everything we've come to expect from Apprentice contestants. Bossy, collapses under pressure, believes their own hype to the bitter end and is generally a bit useless.

Their task to sell a load of cheese in a London market couldn't have been easier. But they chose wrongly - I have to say I've lived in London for 23 years and I've never heard of Whitecross Market. The girls did well in Covent Garden. The boys cheese of the days was mild cheddar. Since when has that been ANYONE'S cheese of the day? Someone made up snack packs but ran out of steam. It was all priced wrongly. It was a disaster. You could see the effette teen in the shiny suit was on his way out. The pout was priceless. Reminds me of a horrible little girl I know.

Needless to say, the show's excellent. I'm already hooked. The boys range from a 17-year-old with a full beard to a 17-year-old who looks like a young Lance Percival and looks under 12. The girls range from fashion conscious mean girls desperate to look older than their years who tut and roll their eyes at anyone else's opinion, to cossetted Asian girls who break down in tears when things don't go their way. Again they're all about 17 but to hear them talk they crave to be older.

It does make me cringe about what I was like at 17. I don't even want to go into it it's too toe-curling to contemplate. But I know ! was a pain in the arse who thought he knew it all. I'd have been perfect for the show, except I've never run my own business. But's that's a mere bagatelle.

Anyhoo, I'm in for the duration. They're more entertaining than the adults because they're less self-aware but a bit more self-concious. Sir Alan - actually it's Lord Sugar now - was gentle with them but fired the right one. If you haven't seen it you must.


Graham Kibble-White said...

So: Are you a fan of fresh cheese?

Chris Hughes said...

As soon as Jordan opened his gob right at the start, I was singing "This week's Junior Apprentice in a nutshell".

Really didn't like the bolshy beret-sporting blonde, although I was impressed by her insight into the combination that is wine and cheese.

The teeny Asian maths wizard looked like something out of Grange Hill. I was imagining Trevor Cleaver hurling his schoolbag onto the roof on his first day.

Chris Hughes said...

Can I just add...

"I think Revolution is a bit cliched. How about... Synergy!"