Friday, January 18, 2008

I don't know you, but I don't like you

Some people who get my goat at the moment:

Angelina Jolie - Stop collecting children with your pretty-boy blank canvas of a husband, big lips, and make up with your dad. Then think about starring in a decent film. You've done nothing of note since Girl Interrupted. I can't speak for A Mighty Heart because I'm afraid it's not my cup of tea.

Britney - Pull yourself together.

Jordan - Another year stretching ahead, another year of OK! exclusives about her stomach-churning sex-life, her surgery addiction, her dumbass husband, her poor children, horses, the colour pink and how much she hates Girls Aloud/Spice Girls or any woman on a similar age who she finds vaguely threatening.

Kerry Katona - Your 'bi-polar medication' will be your undoing. You chav baby machine.

Kerry Katona's husband - Controlling freeloader.

Ewan McGregor - Looks like he needs a good wash.

James McAvoy - Okay, you were good in Atonement, but how lucky have you got? Beyond smug. You'll need to get those teeth fixed if Hollywood is going to take you really seriously. Yes I am jealous.

Keira Knightly - Should eat something.

Mark Lawson - There is nothing interesting about Harry Hill presenting a programme in voiceover then in vision on the same night, even if it never has been done before. Takes everything far too seriously. Quite good interviewee, though.

Robbie Williams - Finished

Bloke next door but one who dumps his rubbish - I'm hiding in your wardrobe with a very big knife.

Currently I love: Kate Winslett


Roman Empress said...

James McAvoy, I'm a little in love with him I'm afraid to say, very short but gorgeous. As for Ewan McGregor though, I find him offensive (and all the others you mentioned including Kate Winslett).

Clair said...

You'll be delighted to hear that Jordan has a further volume of autobiography out on Valentine's Day, picking up from where the last one left off. That's for those who read an issue of OK! with their lips moving, following the print with their finger, and couldnt' quite manage to finish before the next bit of Jordan's life came along a fortnight later. ('Jordan: "I done a poo" or somesuch).

People I hate today: Everybody

Planet Mondo said...

People getting on my pips are..

Russel Brand
Thinks he's Dartagnion meets Jagger, but is really Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen meets Dot Cotton.

Amy Winehouse
Imagine her being your neighbour
*shudders* and then you've got the next idiot turning up at all hours.

Pete Docherty.
Totally hopeless, looks like he's homeless.I've seen better buskers under bridges.

Bono - just winds me up.

Five-Centres said...

And don't forget Kate Moss. A 34-hour birthday bender - I wonder how she managed to stay awake for that?

Ishouldbeworking said...

Can I add "all the child actors on the Archers", please? You posh little pricks. Can I also add "all the adults on the Archers" as well, actually?