Friday, June 13, 2008

Is this man the biggest tit in Britain?


What is it about Chris Martin that means he has to behave in such a way that if he doesn't like the way interviews go, he childishly walks out of them?

Fair enough he doesn't want to talk about his private life, but he's married to a very famous actress and people are interested. It can't be helped. However, there are ways of batting these questions away without looking like a petulant teen. Has he not had any media training? Then why so surprised and affronted if someone asks a personal question? It may not be pretty, but that's journalism. Does he not know that by now?

Perhaps he's smarting about Andy Gill's hatchet job in The Independent. Cruel, but it hits the mark.

Or is he defensive because the image of Coldplay is one of sheer dullness and their music bores as many people to tears as there are those who love it? To me, it's music for people who don't really care about music. Wallpaper that if heard enough, sinks in and like Sade's Diamond Life or the Buena Vista Social Club before it, becomes the dinner party soundtrack for every accoutant in Britain.

It's unchallenging, easy fare, and not my cup of tea at all. And this from someone whose current favourite listens are Seals and Crofts and any bland US hit from 1973/74. But it's different. And you never read about England Dan and John Ford Coley trying to escape from interviews via the window.

He ends up making himself and his band look ridiculous. What do the other members make of it all? It's okay for them, as no one is intersted in what Will Champion or Guy Berryman have to say. They're not married to Hollywood royalty.

Perhaps he should just decide that if he hates publicity so much or only wants to talk about the music, then he should step out of the limelight, let the other band members take the lead, relax and stop whinging.

8 comments:

Clair said...

Probably. Why doesn't he just say 'I don't talk about my personal life, as you know' as a response to questions, as opposed to leaping out of the window?

At MY dinner parties, I play Phil Kelsall at the Blackpool Tower Organ and ELO.

Phil Norman said...

Don't drag Buena Vista into this! Whatever you may think of the music, they are actual musicians. But yes, Chris Martin is a hedge fund manager with a microphone, and seems acutely aware of the fact. (And Thom Yorke is a hedge fund manager with an art A-level.) Don't blame the press for your own dreary monumental crapulence, gentlemen.

Bright Ambassador said...

I can't stand the way Mark Ronson's brassed-up cover of Coldplay's God Put a Smile On My Face is used as background music on just about every TV show from Songs of Praise to Working Lunch.

I'm not a Coldplay apologist, but I do actually quite like their new single. They're one of those infuriating bands who I normally hate but manage to release one track I quite like off every album they put out.

I prefer Half Man Half Biscuit's Cammell Laird Social Club to the Buena Vista variety. Mind you, I don't go to dinner parties, so there you go.

Planet Mondo said...

Would he have done this pre "Yellow"?

I've never rated Coldplay, (and he annoys me in a way that only Annie Lennox usually does) but I do have some belting booteg remixes of them using Kraftwerk and Jacques Lu Cont as the backdrop.

LF Barfe said...

A friend of mine once admitted that she loved Coldplay and played 'air piano' to their records. I've reviewed my opinion of her since then. There should be a section in record shops (Do they still exist? I feel like John Major searching for that Brixton fishmonger's shop in the 1992 PPB - "Is it there? It is! It is!") for bands like Coldplay and Travis - "John Lee Hooker's under blues. John Coltrane's under jazz. Coldplay? Have you looked in meh?". How did they get so huge? Is it because they're not minded by more people than any other band? Is anyone actually passionate about them. And if you're going to play air piano (sweet Jesus, that phrase brings me out in hives), do it to Chas and Dave, Jerry Lee Lewis or Glenn Gould. Miming Chris Martin's piano style just looks like you're operating a pneumatic drill.

office pest said...

I can only comprehend them as 80s Genesis recreated with extra pretension for our modern pre-formed age.
Also, their latest Pirates Of The Caribbean/Kings Of The Wild Frontier getup is second only to Ferry's Gaucho in the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Style Over Substance wardrobe malfunctions. No, shan't be buying it, ta.

Inchy said...

Chris Martin is well worth having in the office dead pool.

He's got 'swallow a bullet' written all over him.

If I hear him rattle on once more about 'fair trade' then I may just do it for him.

Beth said...

I heard that 'walking out of front row' thing while I was making the tea and thought at the time it was totally staged. There seems to be nothing the BBC enjoys more than the BBC being 'news'.

I thought they were just having a laugh.

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