Monday, July 21, 2008


I'm sick of reading about new TV channels launching that don't appeal to me. The current batch of UKTV channels: UKTVGold, Drama and whatever else are all being rebranded as a womans channel (Watch), modern crime (Alibi) and comedy, i.e, wall-to-wall Dibley and Only Fools and Horses (GOLD - stands for Go On, Laugh Daily). All terrible names, all channels that don't appeal to me in the slightest.

So if no one's going to launch a TV channel that interests me, I'm just going to have to do it myself.

This is ideal, or minor variations thereof:

6.00 am Everybody Loves Raymond
6.30 Ellen
7.00 Seinfeld
7.30 Rhoda
8.00 How We Used To Live
8.30 Trade Test Transmissions
9.00 The Good Life
9.30 Farmhouse Kitchen
10.00 Open Air
11.00 Name That Tune
11.30 15-to-1
12pm The Cedar Tree
12.30 Food, Wine & Friends
1.00 The News, with Leonard Parkin
1.10 Frasier
1.30 The Sopranos
2.30 Survivors
3.30 The Changes
4.00 Murphy's Mob
4.30 Ace of Wands
5.00 Grange Hill
5.30 Degrassi
6.00 The Six O'Clock Show
7.00 EastEnders
7.30 Brookside
8.00 The Wire
9.00 Mad Men
9.45 Classic TOTP
10.00 Not The Nine O'Clock News
10.30 Film: Threads
12.00am Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
1.00 Angels
1.30 Scenes of Swinging London (leaving out woman in yellow hat in Biba and man flicking through military jackets)
2.00 Play For Today
3.00 Film: Up The Junction
4.30 Biography of someone famous who interests me
5.30 The Fall and Rise Of Reginald Perrin

Who's watching with me?


Clair said...

Meee! But I would require an episode of Houseparty in the afternoon.

Do you remember that Alas Smith and Jones sketch where the lawyer pronounced 'alibi', 'al-ee-bee'? Viewers will probably do that, too.

Roman Empress said...

Meee! But even Seinfeld would be hard pressed to squeeze a laugh out of me that early in the morn. I've never seen Ace of Wands but in tarot terms, it's one of the best cards in the pack, so...

Ishouldbeworking said...

Meee! Though I'd slip in 'The Feathered Serpent' (anyone remember THAT?) at 4.50pm, and a classic 'Crown Court' around 2pm. Then I'd die happy.

Valentine Suicide said...

Meee! I'd quite happily lose the soaps.
I know it's on every channel, but small 'Dad's Army' wouldn't hurt?

Throw in an 'Armchair Thriller' for the afternoon. A 'Thriller' for the evening and 'The Making of Michael Jackson's Thriller (for consistency)

Also, new 'Battlestar Galactica', which is currently the hot thing on my TV.

Bright Ambassador said...

Not me, apart from Mad Men there's too much American crap. Who watches that Raymond garbage?
Does anyone actually miss Angels?
Rhoda was amusing only for the plastic settee covers.

And where's Top Gear?

Little Johnny Jewel said...

1.30 Scenes of Swinging London (leaving out woman in yellow hat in Biba and man flicking through military jackets)

LO and indeed L

rockmother said...

Rho Rho Rho Rhodaaaah. God is that still going? I got hooked when I went to LA as a kid. What about Space 1999 with Martin Landau - and the Love Boat or Fantasy Island? And Soap - especially when Bert was abducted by aliens and went to space. Oh - and Happy Days.
I'll shut up now.

Five-Centres said...

Every day brings something different - I take on board all your suggestions, except the contrary Bright Ambassador. Bah! to you too.

TimT said...

Good shout on Murphy's Mob - the only kids’ TV show ever filmed at my beloved Watford FC!

Isn’t The Sopranos a bit, um, fruity for 1.30 in the afternoon? It might give unsuspecting pensioners a coronary...

I’m with whoever suggested losing the soaps. you could replace them with episodes of Ever Decreasing Circles (the acme of Richard Briers’s sitcom career) and Joking Apart. And Mrs T would like to put in a request for Howard’s Way.