Thursday, August 21, 2008

I still hate cyclists

But you already know that.

Everyday is a battle against a cyclist, either cutting across the lights, trying to overtake me on the inside as I turn left, or riding three abreast as they competitively race past the other cyclists. Sometimes they even the bang right into the back of my car in their desperation to get by, as happened the other day.

I could see it coming. There were about 10 of them, men and women, varying ages, all desperately trying to outdo each other and going really fast down a busy central London street. I could tell that if I had to suddenly brake, there'd be a pile up. Needless to say, a taxi did it's usual abrupt halt in front of me and there it was: carnage on the autobahn.

None of them were hurt and they were apologetic, but I gave them a lecture on bunching and showing-off in front of a packed pub from my car window, and then I was on my way. None of it went in, they were too busy inspecting their bikes for damage. My car was unhurt, thanks.

So today, I saw a fat fucker of a cyclist inches from ploughing into a woman in a wheelchair who was being pushed across a zebra crossing, all because he couldn't possibly let his momentum slip and was involved in a race with another twat. What was going through his mind there?

I'd say something, only they all wear headphones so they can't hear the traffic around them. Great, that's really safe.

There's no point saying cyclists must die - they're going the right way about it to make it happen themselves. They don't need my help. Wearing headphones on a bike has got to be one of the most dangerous things you can do.

Ban them from our streets unless they obey the rules of the road.

Motorists rule.


Cocktails said...

As as a bleeding heart environmentally conscious liberal, I feel that I should offer a word of support to cyclists. But I can't - you're right. Most of the cyclists I see daily in the City have no concept of either road rules or red lights. I really am suprised that the fatality rate round here isn't higher.

Clair said...

Can we also remember:

* Cyclists who swap between the road and the pavement, regardless of who's on the pavement

* The cyclist I saw riding along with an iPod on, and still talking on her mobile phone

* The cyclists who think they will manage to Free Tibet by cycling in formation past the Chinese Embassy. What do they think is going to happen? 'Jeez guys, there are 40 people out there on bikes! Let's gettoutta the mountain state!'

But I have to say that London MOTORcyclists have excellent manners, and most of them will actually stop to let me cross the road, zebra or no zebra.

Cluracan said...

I've got a number of friends trying to persuade me that cycling to work would be a good thing.
I disagree.
I don't mind cars, buses, lorries, etc, because I know the rules of the road, it's other cyclists I would have the problem with, the majority of whom are morons.
I dislike starting my working day with a fist-fight, so I'll just stick to the bus

Five-Centres said...

Quite right, Curaclan, safety first.

And yes, Cocktails and Clair, good manner cost nothing.

Planet Mondo said...

Someone should do an updated version of this classic PIF