Thursday, November 13, 2008

Morning is broken


I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of waking up to more news about recessions, gloomy economic forecasts and dead children. The second the TV clicks on I want to kill myself.

It's my own fault. Once I was a radio man, but when Chris Moyles came along that was time for me to jump ship from Radio 1. Plus, I was about 36, so really it was way overdue. After that I toyed with Planet Rock, but when we got rid of cable through the TV in the bedroom, that went too.

So then I started a job where my boss insisted I watch GMTV of a morning. And you know my feelings about that. I soon woke up and smelt the morning coffee and wondered why on earth I was carrying out her orders. She was completely mad. So BBC Breakfast was next, but frankly, I find that Sian woman rather grating now, and it's also incredibly repetitive. There is no news except some new survey or credit crunch stuff.

We always turn over to Everybody Loves Raymond at 7.30 while drinking our tea, but we've sat through the series once and only certain episodes are funny second time around.

So what to do? Don't suggest Radio 4, it's depressing. Terry Wogan makes me feel old before my time, and we always had him on when I was growing up in the 70s, so it makes me feel like I've not moved on. I don't like 6 Music. Heart, Capital, Magic and Smooth make me feel like I run a salon in Norbiton and live only for Mariah Carey, the DVD of Titanic and Friday night pizzas.

Don't suggest the ipod. I like to feel connected to the outside world at that hour.

Actually, ignore me. Who gives a fuck what my morning routine is? Who do I think I am, Goodbye To All Fat? We've only got an hour to kill, I'm sure we can think of something to do.

16 comments:

Chris Hughes said...

Already I'm imagining what your salon in Norbiton would be like. I'm thinking it would be a bit like Paul Ryman's salon in Ever Decreasing Circles. I can see you, teasing away, chatting about holidays and doing that thing with the mirror.

There used to be a brilliant station on DAB called Easy Radio, which just played a wide range of classic pop, not just the usual 500 songs, and no annoying DJs. But that closed down the other week. I also like Chill, but that's probably a little too relaxed for the mornings.

A Kitten in a Brandy Glass said...

I wake up to Wogan, but I have the advantage of not having grown up with it - my parents always insisted on Radio 4.

I can't put the TV on in the mornings because I end up sitting there gawping like a goldfish while half an hour passes by and I'm late for work...

Beth said...

Listen to Wogan and face the truth: you *are* old and you *haven't* moved on...oh, no, wait a minute - that's MY life...

(I'm a 'Today' listener actually. Nothing gets me out of the house faster than Ann Atkins doing thought for the day)

Ishouldbeworking said...

I feel incomplete if I don't have Radio 4 on in the mornings, though I have to turn it off when they let 'Jim' Naughtie do one of his dolorous, over-worked, 'I hang around with novelists, me' bits of reportage.

I'm aware that doesn't help you, but it always makes me feel better when I have a go at him.

Planet Mondo said...

I bailed from Radio One when Sarah Cox same along - Moyles is a bully and a bore. 6 Music's too clangy at that time, and I find Radio 4 and (BBC Local) so dry and dull that they're unlistenable - local commercial radio (in sunny Southend anyway)is hopeless - Passion on DAB isn't too bad and probably gets most of my listening time on weekday mornings...

TimT said...

How about playing satellite TV bingo? Roll a die three times and enter the number in the Sky EPG. You have to watch whatever channel comes up for 15 minutes (unless it's not broadcasting at the time, in which case you can roll again).

The thrill of uncertainty could be just the thing to pep up your mornings!

Five-Centres said...

Thanks for your suggestions. I think we'll turn off the TV and talk. Or play the piano.

I do like to think of myself as Paul Ryman, Chris, it must be said. But of course running this in conjunction with my bistro is awfully time-consuming.

Valentine Suicide said...

I wake to 6Music, it's not newsy and the tunes are usually more than bearable. Shaun Keaveney is genial enough. Of course they'll eventually replace him with George Lamb. Then I'll just stay asleep..

office pest said...

I like Wogan, really, but I also like it when he's on hols and the excellent Johnny Walker IS ON. Though I flick around the channels in the car looking for a nice record most of the time.

office pest said...

Oh yeah, meant to ask, do you do Chicken a la King at your bistro F-C?

LF Barfe said...

It would be of limited use to you, F-C, but we have BBC Radio Norfolk on in the mornings. Stephen Bumfrey is a superb breakfast host.

Five-Centres said...

I don't OP, but when the summer menu comes in, I might consider it.

Matthew Rudd said...

Wogan's still your best bet, I suspect, unless you try Radio Jackie.

Good use of the Heart logo. Pedantry stops me pointing out it's of the Birmingham station, not the London one, though. Oh...

Five-Centres said...

Well, they're all the same at the end of the day, Matt.

Valentine Suicide said...

You can say that again...

Matthew Rudd said...

Literally, after the Global takeover.

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