Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Happy Easter*

That's funny that no one commented on Slumdog Millionaire. Perhaps you didn't want any spoilers, or you haven't seen it.

Anyhoo, I'm off to the South Bank Show Awards today, but before I go, did you see that Heston Blumenthal takes on the Little Chef programme last night?

What were they thinking? The clearly deluded celeb-obsessed MD of Little Chef was convinced Heston's wacky fare would pull in the punters. So far, it seems he's wrong. But couldn't we have told him so? If you stop in at the Little Chef, you want burgers, bangers and especially fry-ups. Lamb thyroid casserole and dry ice chocolate sorbets are way over the heads of the core clientele.

Heston sort of got this, but his sneering, rather superior chefs did not. They quite clearly thought they were a cut above and threw their weight around with the loyal staff, mocking their lack of sophistication and laughing at the menu. Little Chef is what it is, and we love them for that. That said, what sort of person grows up wanting to work in the Little Chef like the manager at the Winchester branch did? It's a bit of an odd ambition, it must be said.

So I'll be interested to see what happens tonight. Will Heston get to know the budget from that over-excited starfucker of an MD? Will passing trade go for his offal dishes?

* That's what my brother used to call the Happy Eater. How we laughed!


Beth said...

The Jubilee Pancake was the very height of sophistication when I was 14.

I've not really moved on much since then. Anyway, who wouldn't rather have an all day breakfast than a 'thyroid'?

Chris Hughes said...

Presumably the traffic light lollipop is now deer blood, lemon and broccoli flavour. And is hot and cold at the same time. And you listen to motorway noises on an iPod while you suck it.

Planet Mondo said...

I've given it a swerve after seeing the ad's - snail porridge! (or whatever random confection it was).No thanks - clearly not going to work. I've got two tips for them..

Cook things properly - sausages, eggs are always slightly underdone..

Ease off on the grease - things are always a 'slipping and a'sliding around the plate since the early 90s.

I used to love the Little Chef, we stopped at on the way to summer holidays in Devon during the seventies - and the food seemed properly cooked too

Red Squirrel said...

Isn't that Ian bloke who's the MD or whatever of Little Chef a nasty, nasty piece of work? Ugh!
Totally pointless, though, the whole thing. And as for Heston Blumenthal's constant "I don't want it to be a publicity stunt" – well, what the hell else is it, then?
Having said that, I think he comes across quite well. Rather him than arrogant craggy-faced shagger Ramsay or fat-tongued c**t Oliver.

Bright Ambassador said...

I've never eaten at Little Chef. When we went on holiday we used to take a 'pack up'. Which usually meant sitting on the banks of the Avon in Stratford eating ham rolls and homemade chocolate cake while Dad let the Hillman 'have a rest'.

Five-Centres said...

We rarely stopped at one as a child, as we all preferred the Happy Eater. But the last time I went to one was on the way back from Huddersfield the day after Princess Diana died. It was a sombre affair.