Thursday, March 26, 2009

Andy beat goes on


I'm assuming you saw The Apprentice last night. I enjoyed it. They're all awful, of course, wise to what's expected of them with no practical business experience, and instantly setting out the battle lines.

I've got my initial hate figures sorted: that Geordie who moaned constantly called Phil, and the project manager of the girls' team. Not keen on the hatchet-faced bitch she called into the boardroom with her either, but there's always one of those per series, so she should be good value. They're all dim bulbs, though Sirallan seems a bit nice than last time. Has the credit crunch made him lighten up? It's possible, though I'm not sure why that would be. So far so good. The right thing happened in firing that funny-looking girl, and I'll definitely be tuning in next week.

*I didn't see a single shot of the gherkin - or did I blink at the wrong time?

Anyhoo, on to today's topic, which is whatever happened to former international playboy, Prince Andrew?

He's the forgotten Royal. The black sheep of the family. Once never out of the papers in his naval uniform, grinning for Britain and now nowhere to be seen. I realise I don't know anything about his life. He's so in the background as to be practically invisible. You never see him doing any public engagements. And since he split up with Yorkie there doesn't appear to have been anyone else in his life. He's never linked with anyone, whereas pre-Yorkie he always had some exotic popsy hanging off him, and was often pictured larking about in the surf with women in orange string bikinis. But not anymore. I want to know why not.

Newspapers couldn't less about him. This is strange. I don't think I've even seen a recent picture of him. Is he dead? I've heard various scurrilous rumours about him, like him being found in bed with ________ or that he's ____, but of course I can't repeat them there.

Are you as intrigued as me or, perhaps like the rest of the world you've forgotten he actually existed.

24 comments:

James said...

Couldn't care less.

Five-Centres said...

Thanks James, but you don't even need to comment if you don't care. It's if you do care that I want to know about.

Clair said...

He's some kind of foreign trade ambassador, innee, so he's abroad shaking hands and saying '...and what do you do?' on our behalf overseas. Ditto Edward, who apparently does all the jammy gigs abroad on behalf of his dad's award scheme. He doesn't do many gigs here, but I think that may be because of his eldest daughter...

Martina said...

I couldn't care either.

Anonymous said...

Me neither

Red Squirrel said...

Clearly he should have stuck with Fergie – now she looks like a man, she'd probably be more up his street.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Five-Centres said...

So those rumours are true then Squirrel.

Not sure why anyone would want to leave anonymous comments about how they don't about something. What's the point?

The Hairy Bran Flake said...

I was also told he was gay, which was why he joined the navy.

Has that stupid ex-wife of his had Botox? I see that, not content with hawking her daughters around minor aristocrats and the children of multi-millionaires, she's now 'producing' films.
I need a lie down.

Planet Mondo said...

Did you hear the other one about him - not being a fully paid up member of the royals so to speak (an Aunt of mine who worked in royal circles whispered about it for years - I stumbled across something on it here)..

I caught the end of Burrell's Big Secret recently but they were so busy skipping around the clues - I couldn't make out what it was they were actually alluding too...

Planet Mondo said...

Whoops - that link's broken -
here you go

Five-Centres said...

Wow, that's really interesting.

Helen Cordet is the only one I'd heard of in connection with Philip, and we all know the Hewitt rumours, but the rest of it came as a complete surprise.

The Queen - what a goer!

Matthew Rudd said...

Prince Andrew gets slagged off by the papers for using his publicly-funded helicopter to go to golf matches.

That's all, I think.

Anonymous said...

BORING!

Five-Centres said...

Well what do you want, anon? The crisp map of Britain?

Cocktails said...

Have just read PM's royal link. Are the Royal family not familar with the concept of contraception? Rather careless aren't they?

Planet Mondo said...

This is Lord Porchester's (other) son - remind you of anyone?

GOLF said...

GOLF

Ready Salted said...

Crisps map sounds great. Get on it right now.

Boules said...

Boules

Anonymous said...

I wonder if those people posting that they don't care are the same who ring up peak-rate TV opinion polls to give the "don't know" answer.

Although the crisp map sounds cool.

Spot.

Five-Centres said...

Hmmm, it's curious Spot.

Anonymous said...

I don't know

Anonymous said...

Next week... whither Koo Stark?

Anonymous said...

The PDF that Planet Mondo linked to was hilarious. Thanks for the entertainment, F-C and PM! The document's premise is that some people wrote somethings in books, therefore they must be true. Secondly, it's not their fathers' DNA that makes Princes Edward and Andrew royal, it's their mother's. Same with Anne's daughter. OK, there might be a case for Prince Harry, but sadly, a DNA expose won't mean that we'll never have to hear about him in the media again.

-- Blooper

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