Thursday, July 02, 2009

Seaside Shuffle


I was on the Tube last night when an announcement came over the tannoy, reminding us sweltering travellers that in times of great heat, we should carry bottles of water with us, just in case, and wear loose clothing.

For pity's sake.

You'd think we'd never experienced hot weather before. What the hell do we do when we go abroad? Tsk. Talk about nanny state. It's no hotter than we've had in other years, stretching back centuries. And I should know, having been a weatherman in 1789. Anyhoo, isn't all this heatwave advice utterly ludicrous? Common sense tells what we should do. We don't need the absurd Dr Hilary Jones telling us to look out for our neighbours or sprinkle water on our bedsheets - his favourite piece of hot weather advice, incidentally. Have you ever sprinkled water on your bedsheets? On purpose? Of course you haven't. And you wouldn't. Who wants to lie in a damp bed.

So the heatwave is over tomorrow, thank God, and we can all go back to whingeing about how summer's now over.

10 comments:

Roman Empress said...

Perhaps now isn't the time to tell you I sprinkle my bed sheets with lavender water on unbearably hot nights.
It doesn't stay damp for long.

Cocktails said...

The nanny heatwave state exists because of people like Mr Cocktails who insist on climbing up hills in the middle of the day in 30 degree heat and then complaining that they don't feel very well.

A Kitten in a Brandy Glass said...

It kind of annoys me that this is being called a heatwave. Summer of 2003, THAT was a heatwave: appalling, uncomfortable and seemingly interminable. This has just been a week of warm weather.

Dan W said...

Ah, nothing brings out the British character like the weather. We hanker for the cool embrace of winter in high summer, or the balmy evenings of summer in winter's icy grip; we're never happy.

Brian Rowland said...

Treating people like children when it comes to weather: that's epitomised by those "Don't forget your coat/umbrella/scarf/head" nudges on the front pages of whichever free paper it is. The London Paper, is it?

Planet Mondo said...

Why is it tube trains aren't air conditioned yet?

Thank God for C2C and the Fenchurch Flyer (formerly the Misery Line) air-con, wi-fi and even quiet zones in some carriages

Bright Ambassador said...

I heard that ridiculous man Hilary Jones on Steve Wright last week giving advice for Glastonbury attendees, my favourite was this:
"I'm led to believe that the toilets are nothing more than open ditches - my advice is to take some antiseptic, disposable hand wipes."
What planet does that man inhabit?

Anonymous said...

Surely the most shocking news here is that F-C travelled on the Underground?

Five-Centres said...

I like to be among my people, at least some of the time, anon.

RE - well, lavender water is quite comforting and I suppose in this heat it does dry quickly. I might recommend Mrs F-C take your tip.

Ishouldbeworking said...

I like to spend my days going round and round the Circle Line wearing a Bacofoil suit and mink balaclava while drinking scalding soup from a Thermos, so those announcements have actually saved my life this week.

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