Monday, November 09, 2009

Spend! Spend! Spend!


£45m...

Can you imagine living with that sort of cash? I can. All the things you could do. The endless possibilities. I'm hoping against hope that it's someone I know. If you're reading this, just £100,000 will do me. Or if you're feeling particularly generous you can pay off my mortgage instead. Thanks.

I do hope whoever has won it has got plans. There's nothing more dispiriting than those who say it won't change their lives. Well, why ever not? You enter this kind of competition just so it will change your life. So why do you want to carry on as normal?

I remember way back when the pools was the big way to land yourself a fortune. It'd be won by a sixtysomething cleaning lady from Gosport who was pictured receiving a giant-sized cheque from Robin Nedwell. When asked what she was going to do with it she'd say she wasn't going to give up her council house or her job. She was clearly a educationally sub-normal dullard because anyone with even half a brain would be on the next plane to Aruba to have a long, hard think. It just shows a lack of imagination.

Who doesn't find themselves daydreaming about their Brownstone apartment overlooking Central Park, or their lakeside cabin in the wilds of Canada or their ski lodge in Vermont or their canalside house in Amsterdam with candles in the window or their faithfully recreated 1960s penthouse apartment in Mayfair and the huge party they'd throw for all their friends in Paris? Sigh.

There's nothing more frustrating than Dennis and Myra Bonkers winning £8m and telling everyone they'll be staying in the house they've lived in for 30 years and just perhaps splashing out on a new fridge freezer and a fortnight in Ventnor. It's such a waste! Throw it my way, I'll help you spend it. Aren't simple folk boring?

Tell me you have dreams...

16 comments:

Bright Ambassador said...

To be fair, £45m is a ridiculous amount of money. I'd give a load of it to charity. £15m would do me, enough for a nice city home and a holiday home, an Aston Martin and as many high class prostitutes as I could manage.

Ishouldbeworking said...

I'm with BA, 45 million is a terrifying, ludicrous amount of money. I know for a fact it'd cause bloodshed in my family, and in many others.

No, just enough for a panther cub and a chin-tuck, and I'd be happy.

Simon said...

I'd have to have a new house with a swimming pool to park the roller in.

Actually, what I'd really like is to be well-heeled enough to be able to just see everywhere, when I want, rather than two weeks a year if we've managed to save enough.

office pest said...

You can count me in for every one of the forty-five big ones.

There's lots to spend it on, when you start to think. Two or three houses around the world, perhaps a small yacht to prat about on, maybe a couple of little businesses like a hotel or two in nice spots. Travelling expenses to visit all your new interests.

It would soon be spoken for I reckon. Of course it would never go if all you're gonna do is buy a more expensive version of what you've always bought - one has to think differently and I suppose that's where the dreams come in.

Mondo said...

It's usually won by old people isn't it. They should put an age limit on the lottery so it's won be people who'll be alive long enough to enjoy it.

I'd give a bit to charity (£5 mill), but the rest: Sort the family out, then a fancy-pants place in Bora Bora first.

I heard someone mention the interest alone would bring in £6000 a day.

Mondo said...

And football pools - my parents did them religously for years. Apparently one weekend they got eight score-draws (whatever that is), and were odds on for a huge payout - apart from mum hadn't posted the coupon. Whoops!

Five-Centres said...

That's like a plot from a Seventies sitcom, Mondo.

I suppose I'd have to give some to charity too, and I'd pay off all my friends' mortgages.

Bright Ambassador said...

Pay off friends' mortgages? Fuck 'em.

Dan W said...

It'd be cars all round, yachts for dad, nice houses for parents, huge world-wide holiday, houses all over the place, massive party, more cars, money to charity of course, setting up my own business of some sort, perhaps media related, perhaps not; it'd be everything! and enough put aside so if it all went wrong you could still take stock and be a bit more sensible.

Clair said...

I would start my own stupid magazine. Then hire a couple of hit men to sort out a coupla issues. My needs are simple.

office pest said...

Your needs are simple Clair - it seems you want only total power and total destruction.

Like a female STALIN you are.

Oh dear I appear to have caught perrytonitis.

Clair said...

Very good, OP.

*strokes white cat, looks a bit mad*

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