Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Fiona Phillips must die


As those familiar with morning routine will testify, I don't watch GMTV. Well, occasionally I flick over but it's always brief because I can't stomach Fiona Phillips. She really is the most inane woman on television. Paired with Andrew Castle they're Dumb and Dumber. He's shocking. And stupid. Anything for a comedy link, even if it is about people worried their life savings may vanish so are queuing outside Northern Rock - oh, ha ha ha, they might be there a while, etc. So inappropriate.

Surely now this station has landed the biggest fine in TV history it's time for a shake-up. Does Fiona Phillips only have this high-profile job because she's married to the boss? There honestly can be no other reason. I don't know a single soul who likes her, even people who work there.

She's very good at the ditzy mum act, but don't be fooled. This is a ruthless martinet who's trampled her way to the top. And she's a bit thick. But here she is, ruining about two million lives a day.

Then again, Kate Garraway is no better. I used to think she was a refreshing antidote to Phillips, but with her professional tired new mother routine, her bizarre marriage to therapist to the stars Derek Draper and her speech impediment, she's just tiresome. And she's another shameless linker too. I hated Eamonn Holmes, but realising what he had to put up with I almost feel sorry for him. Actually, I don't.

As for those weather girls. It's great to have trained meteorologists presenting the weather in an informed and knowledgeable fashion, isn't it? I really trust them. Oh I must stop or I might explode.

15 comments:

Pam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
A Kitten in a Brandy Glass said...

Fiona Phillips is utterly and irredeemably dreadful. Because I rarely see her, I tend to think of her as just being a generically bland presenter, but when I do catch a bit of her, it hits me just how galactically stupid she really is. Not ten minutes can pass without her embarrassing herself with a display of self-centred ignorance that takes my breath away.

I haven't watched breakfast telly proper since Johnny and Denise left the Big Breakfast, and appealing as the thought of gazing blankly at a nice American sitcom is, I need a rocket under my arse to get me to leave the house on a morning anyway, so I try not to exacerbate the problem with TV-based temptation...

Clair said...

My special bete noir about GMTV is the way the female presenters are always wittering on about how fat they are (except Lorraine Kelly). Fat! There's more fat on a sparrow's leg than there is on the entire female presenting staff. Stop trying to be 'keepin' it real'. You are on telly, ergo you're slim, and without fat viewers, nobody would watch Inch Loss Island. Another bete noir...

Simon said...

I have never watched GMTV in my life, but for some reason caught a tiny bit of LK on Speed or whatever it's called with Lorraine Kelley. She had some poot girl who has excema everywhere and she was saying "it must be terrible in the summer?","you must get bullied at school?","it must be really hard choosing clothes?" Poor girl, I would have told Lorraine where to go.

Clair said...

I thought Lorraine Kelly was a trained journalist - if so, why does she always ask questions that only require a yes/no answer? 'It must have been lovely to work on this show' is her favourite celebrity question/statement.

Ian S said...

Sorry, FC - I disagree. It's very easy to have a go at....

No, no - I can't do it. I hate her too - so much. She looks like a child's drawing of a witch.

There is an excellent thread on the Digital Spy forums documenting how much most people hate her, and also her regular examples of idiocy and a total lack of tact - worth a look.

I'd happily pull the trigger...

Five-Centres said...

Glad that we're all agreed. I find Lorraine irritating too.

Badger Madge said...

last week they were interviewing the mcgann's sister (in law) and she said something like "i'm sure they've got your full support."

fiona (think it was her) said, "well we have to remain impartial here, but as a mother, i think you know how i feel."

i pissed myself when she said she was impartial. ha ha haaaa!

tbh i only watch it in the mornings because it *is* inane. i can't cope with anything more intelligent than that really. plus it does offer up some great comedy moments for the old blog, eh…

Valentine Suicide said...

5C, I thinks it's time for you to stop watching scheduled t.v. You seem dangerously close to the edge. Come 'round here and watch American DVD box sets all weekend. Bring beer.

Five-Centres said...

See you on Saturday then, Val.

Clair said...

I enjoyed Lorraine's sympathetic comment to a lifetime eczema sufferer this morning - 'I bet you wish it would just go away, don't you?'. I wish you'd just go away...

marmiteboy said...

GMTV has never had much luck with presenters has it. All of them have been dreadful. Ex-GMTV presenter Esther McVey not content with ruining whatever credibility she may have had by standing for the Tories (on Merseyside for goodness sake!!) is now a spokesperson for theMcCann family. That could go quite wrong for her. Even the Tories wouldn't touch her then.

Five-Centres said...

A long line of doofuses. Ben Shephard will never make it on anything outside of GMTV because he's the blandest man who ever lived.

Five-Centres said...

This morning she was wearing a black armband for Jose Mourinho. She couldn't hold back on how devastated she was. Of course, her football fannery does not ring true and the real reason she's in mourning is because she fancies him.

God I loathe that woman.

Clair said...

I noticed that. She said it was 'a true tragedy' - what, something comparible to the couple who've lost four children in the car drowning incident?

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